Sweet Love

You feel you have everything, there is nothing that you would want when someone is with you. World seems beautiful and are part of its beauty. Sunshine in winter and sprinkles of rain in summer, thats how is every season with that special someone. Some people smile crossing by your glowing face when you are holding a flower and your beloved is holding you, some people get envy and you enjoy just being there. You are at home with that someone. All the obscurities seem minimal in that sweet rendezvous. The stars' shine get embarrassed when they look into the iridescence of your eyes. There is excitement, there is contention, there is peace with every passing moment. You are in spells.

Every word becomes a gift making you more and more special and you know that those words are coming right from the heart of your lover. You din't know that person since birth but you feel intense sense of belongingness. You are mesmerized by tasting a smallest speck of this potion called Love however beguiling it is.

Will it stay forever like that? In this space, will there be a nook just for two of the souls inter twinned with each other, safe from vulnerabilities that float the earth? Or is it just a temporary haze you are in? love drugged. The drug which creates strongest illusion in mind, which leaves it trails for the rest of your life once consumed rather which consumes you even after the spell is broken.

You devote yourself, you worship it, you put it to the epic place in your believes. You endow yourself to it. You never doubt its essence, its pure for you. You never doubt its longevity, its immortal for you. You never doubt its bitterness, its elixir for you. You know it will never leave you, you can count on it, your belief in someone en-wrapped in arms of this virtue, love.

You forget one thing: love is carnal too, comes with body n flesh like us and above than that, it wears a mask on its face. It deploys the most desired feelings of a human like "happiness" as it's gears to enter a human's world. At its own demise, it leaves the person with something dead too in his/her conscience. A contagious wound eating the rest of person from inside; leaving pain, sufferings, agony, hatred and disgust as its offsprings.

My only desire

What exactly comes to mind while listening to word "desire"? May be the most intense thoughts. The urge to get somethings you want the most, desire to be appreciated, desire to own a Mercedez, desires that would give way to pleasure and contentment. People seek them, struggle to taste them. Our desires become our drive to live, to look next to and sometimes, go crazy for.

What a life would be when there is no desire left, no wants, just needs and that to on account of being human? If there is nothing that you want, nothing to seek, how would that life be? How would someone live that life. Happiness being overrated by human convention, what if i don't see it as a source to live upon? In fact I don't see it coming in achievements or some materialistic or non-materialistic things. Its meaning becomes undefined.

Happiness to be with someone vanishes when I know that i entered alone in this world and would leave alone and I accept that meanwhile in this passage of life, there is no certainty of how long I am going to be with that someone. Being social animal, you would always be around someone, just that someone will keep on changing.

It doesn't mean abstinence. I am not saying that I deny myself from pleasures and desires. I just don't have them. Carnal desires seem meager. For me the pleasure would be if I could feel the touch of that person whenever and wherever I am. Cherishing some temporary moments would just lead to a sense of unsatisfied longing afterwards and it will all soil someday. I would rather seek satisfaction in what I have forever: me, my thoughts, my soul.

And there i find living such life harder, may be I am myself making it harsher for myself. Waking up every morning with thoughts contemplating my life, finding its meaning just to find the answer as either redemption( if it exists) or the end and hence again living through another day just to welcome another dawn.

D

A Random Glimpse

While listening a song tonight, a picture stuck somewhere in my mind, a picture so vivid that it stirred me, brought me back from the usual trance i live in these days. That image was a moment from my past, a moment spent with someone with whom i wont define any clichéd "relations". I closed my eyes, i felt how that moment is framed inside of me, like ruins of an old castle deeply rooted in my heart, getting nourished by my blood and yet me so unaware of it.

I saw we were sitting quietly on top of an old wasted fort, no one around, just the sunshine soaking in our skin, cool air to sooth the breathe and a vast view of green land to fill in the eyes. I was drown in pool of some thoughts that always etched my brain. Suddenly with no notice, he laid his head on my shoulders and crossed his arms around me. My mind went numb and my body reacted by sending me a sense of comfort. i could feel the warmth of his breathe, a gentle touch of his eyelashes on my skin.i wanted that moment to stop there, may be because i really lived it.

I opened my eyes not willing to retrieve from the place where these memories are kept safe and locked. I could still feel the same warmth of compassion. Coming back to present, I felt a deep pang finding myself in my room and just loneliness to share. It left me a bit more hollow.

D